So you want A’s on your Final Exams? I get it. It’s hard to focus in 2017. Your temptations are boundless–Snapchat filters that make you look like a cat, reruns of Alaskan Bush People on the Discovery Channel, hummus, the sound of the laundry machine, and your friends. Man, friends are the worst.
I know some of you have been preparing diligently all semester and some of you, well, haven’t. Either way, in order to be successful on a Final Exam, especially the English Final Exam–which, like many others, requires the usage of your whole brain–you need to be calmed down.
Much like Stuart Smalley’s famous tagline from SNL, you are good enough and you’re certainly smart enough. That much I know is true. Whether or not people like you could present a bit more of a gray area (and is probably more so in your control than even your semester grades), but people tend to find more cultured people with a reasonably sound musical palette easier to be around. Martin Garrix and Travis Scott (I just googled “musicians teenagers like”) can turn any weekend get-together into something more, but it perhaps won’t help you turn that 91.4% into the coveted 93 that you are seeking. No birds in the trap or beat drops can save your sorry souls from here.
Look no further. I did this for you. Stop penning those desperate emails to your teachers about rounding your grade up and rationalizing your 5 months of sporadic attendance, erratic behavior, and general apathy. Just listen to the playlist curated above and you will handle the stress of Finals Week like Kennedy did the Cuban Missile Crisis. Don’t let it end up like the Bay of Pigs (free study tip).
Good luck, my people. Dominate Finals Week. Don’t be Finals weak.