Who Are You?

Identity is a valuable facet of ourselves. We have many ways of showcasing it to the world, whether it be by our name, our style, or our wardrobe. As people, we put ourselves into categories. Some people consider themselves lovers of tea or coffee, some are dog-people and others are cat-people, and some consider themselves fans of action or comedy.

Wouldn’t it be crazy if we literally could not be anything besides two categories?

Think about a world where you absolutely could not be a cat-person and a dog-person. Imagine if you weren’t allowed to order a chai tea latte at the café because your parents insisted that you were a coffee-person since the day you were born. Oh, and don’t even start on being a fan of (gasp!) action-comedies!

Metaphors aside, having one’s identity be a case of “either/or” has been a common trait in society which can dictate most of our lives as people. We’re born into two rather binary categories: male or female. Our parents welcome us home in a crib of pink or blue. Most people live childhoods either playing family or playing soldier, whether or not they would want to.

What about the folks who’ve never felt like they’ve fit in either of those categories? Or none of them at all?

Trans people are not a new concept to humanity, though there have been many folks who’ve never met a trans person before. As one myself, I can very much say that I exist, and that my trans peers exist as well. Regardless of my gender identity, being a trans guy is not all that I am. If I was ever to name myself based on one trait, I’d rather have myself be called “Mr. Too-Obsessed-With-Science-Fiction.” Trans people are, obviously, people. It’s no surprise that gender identity is only a facet of oneself.

As much as trans people are gaining acceptance in media and society more than ever before, how come there’s still somewhat of a confusion about trans people? How come pronouns are something often joked about, rather than accepted? Why is the concept of there being more than two genders a punchline?

Western society has been rigid when it comes to gender identity, and even most people who make those jokes aren’t necessarily “bad people” and are, rather, folks who don’t understand. Still, with all of the progress that’s happened, many people today still look at gender in this one, set way of “this or that.” Especially when there’s even some cultures with gender fluidity as a concept.

Yes, you heard me right!

As I’ve said, being trans is nothing new, especially in cultures outside of the West. For example, in societies such as the hijra community of India, the Māhū of Hawaiian culture, and the Two-Spirit people of some Native American cultures, gender is viewed as a spectrum rather than as a binary. With a quick Google search, you can find even more examples of cultures with gender identities off the binary of “boy or girl.” Humans can and have identified as other genders almost as long as humans have identified themselves as humans. Even if their definitions of their gender identities may not match a version of the trans identity that some of us may know, these few examples show that gender hasn’t always been such a binary concept.

So, how should one approach the gender spectrum? Be open! Just as there are many ways of being close-minded, there are many ways of being open to the concept of gender fluidity. Be open to the fact that not everyone is going to be cisgender (someone who identifies with their assigned gender at birth), and be respectful when someone asks you to refer to them by the pronouns they go by. Rather than being confused or offended, you definitely have the choice to try to understand someone instead of brushing them off for being “complicated.”

At the end of the day, trans people and other folks of the LGBTQ+ community deserve not only awareness but acceptance and respect. It’s going to take time for that day to come, but a long journey towards something shouldn’t be delayed because it’s “too hard.”

Stay open, stay respectful, and keep rocking on.