Loading ...
There was once a test called the Brown Paper Bag Test. If you were deemed to be darker than the paper bag, you were denied entrance, membership, friendship, etc. Although the test is gone, the philosophy remains.
I moved to Lake Bluff in my last year of middle school. It was tough for me but easy for my brother. He was just starting sixth grade. In sixth grade you’re fresh from elementary school ready to be with the big kids and BE a big kid. You start to determine who is your group, who’s your friend, and who isn’t.
Eighth grade is different. Everyone has their friends and groups picked out officially. Who they did or didn’t like. Unfortunately for me, I was the new girl and I was Black. Not just Black but darker than a brown paper bag.
I’d often come home from school in tears. I’d go to the bathroom and try to scrub my skin because I hated it. I hated being dark, I hated being ugly… Or so I was told.
There was one other Black girl in the school. She was a 6th grader and lighter than me. We both experienced discrimination but being darker than a brown paper bag means you’re prone to the worst of it.
In reality I’m the same as you: same dreams, same language, same thoughts, same goals, just darker than a brown paper bag.
One day in math class, we all stood up to get ready for the next class. There was another Black kid in the class. He had many friends, including white friends. I was learning to love myself, just like any 8th grade girl, so that day I chose to wear my natural hair – a fro. Pretty bold, huh?
“Why do you look like that?” he asked.
“Like what? I asked back.
“Like Mufasa!”
Everyone laughed, and I felt so embarrassed. How stupid of me to wear this big ball of frizz on my head. Maybe I do look like Mufasa.
I was honestly pretty confused because the boy who said it looked just like me …darker than a paper bag. So how could the boy that looks like me embarrass the girl who is like his mother but younger… darker than a brown paper bag.
In Lake Forest the percentage of Black residents is 1.1 percent and 84 percent of white. Being in a overwhelmingly white area has tested my patience and my perspective of the entire community. Considering there are so few of us people of color, you’d think there would be some sort of discussion to make those here feel more welcome. However, throughout my five years here, I’ve seen very little to no acknowledgement of minorities.
During February of my sophomore year, I noticed there was nothing celebrating Black History Month. I waited about a week to see what would happen. Nothing on the announcements. Nothing on the big T.Vs. Nothing on bulletin boards. Nothing.
No one even spoke of it. It was as if the month was the N- word and everyone was scared to even mention it. I took it upon myself to bring some sort of awareness. With the help of some staff members, I printed pages of Black leaders, activists, inventors, etc. Two years later some of those pages are still on the bulletin.
To my Waukegan and other friends outside of Lake Forest I’m the “preppy white girl that left home.” In Lake Forest, I’m just “darker than a paper bag.” In reality I’m the same as you: same dreams, same language, same thoughts, same goals, just darker than a brown paper bag.
The comment section for this story is now closed.
Gary Finley • Oct 4, 2023 at 9:00 am
If the editors are going to delete some of my posts, then I will ask them to delete them all, along with the responses. That’s only fair. It should be made clear that the comments section will not tolerate criticism, dissent, or even civil debate on the presented opinions. Of course, I find this level of censorship to be socially corrosive and exactly the kind of behavior that our children should be taught to identify and challenge, not emulate. This will be my last post here, because there is no point in typing words that will be arbitrarily deleted by someone who thinks they are the guardians of all truth and goodness. You, the person censoring me, have become the monster you think you are fighting. You do not understand that what you are doing to me will one day happen to you when you don’t cheer loud enough for the politically approved message of the day. Peace.
The Forest Scout • Oct 4, 2023 at 9:11 am
None of your comments have been edited, censored, or deleted.
Gary Finley • Sep 29, 2023 at 7:08 am
You accuse the school administration, the people of Lake Forest, and the citizens of the US of being racists, and your evidence to support those claims is that a black kid made fun of your hair and the school didn’t celebrate your skin color with enough enthusiasm. The evidence doesn’t justify the accusations. Slander, no matter how beautifully worded, is still wrong.
random • Sep 29, 2023 at 2:53 pm
There was no direct slander toward the administration nor the people of Lake Forest, rather it was a personal tale of somebody’s experience in LFHS and their feeling of being un-included from the community created by the school. I also see a severe lack of a point in responding so negatively to a high school newspaper no matter the content.
Gary Finley • Sep 29, 2023 at 4:22 pm
Its right there in the title. She says its better to be lighter skinned than dark skinned in Lake Forest and America. She’s accusing us all of being racists without backing it up with evidence. The point is that someone needs to push back against the endless, groundless racial demonization of the people who live in Lake Forest… and the wider USA. What is point of praising someone for publicly slandering an entire country without evidence? This should not be encouraged.
Suhmer Sandifer • Sep 29, 2023 at 10:48 pm
I hear your thoughts. And applaude you for speaking your opinion. But unfortunately for you this is MY story not yours. I wouldnt say necessarily accuse but rather holding accountable. I didnt say “the school didnt celebrate my skin color with enough enthusiasm” more like didnt celebrate at all. Its unfortunate because you only see about 2-5 black kids of color. So yes I’d expect the school to at least show a slight amount of awareness of black history month or any other black holiday. To at least welcome us. We dont feel welcomed. We dont feel comfortable. And someone has to say it. If you want evidence look at the news or any article online to see how blacks are being treated in general. In all my initial point is that Lake Forest/ America should stop the violence, discrimination, aggression, HATE, misconception and over all negative views and actions towards not only blacks but other minorities. Lastly I mainly wanted to point out the fact that lighter toned black individuals are able to connect more to a white individual rather than a darker toned individual such as myself, me and my little brother are perfect examples. Thank you for reading my article and have a fantastic night.
Gary Finley • Oct 4, 2023 at 7:50 am
I see blacks being treated very well in general. In fact better than whites when it comes to college admissions, hiring, and promotions. You have had two chances to tell us what discrimination you suffered. I offer a third. Please tell us what bad things have happened to you … and how YOU feel about your skin color or how you feel about relating to other skin colors is not something that someone else has done to you. That’s on you to sort out and find peace.
April Turner • Sep 30, 2023 at 2:43 pm
Hi Mr Finely I’m sorry you have taken Suhmers article out of context when she is clearly only writing about her personal experiences. It’s unfortunate a child who is only expressing her thoughts of her experiences has to be taken out of context when she has not slandered anyone in any type of way but I understand we all have our own perspective to what we perceive so how you feel is absolutely valid but you seize to realize this is a child still in the process of learning and the only evidence she needs is her own personal experience and no she is not trying to raise an issue but yet only speaking from her experience one thing I will say is you are correct yes she did word it beautifully and instead of critiquing a student in high school maybe we should see her efforts to describe her experience as a positive situation instead of a negative one
Gary Finley • Oct 4, 2023 at 7:43 am
If I took her out of context then my response was not valid, and you should not say it is. Of course I do not grant that point, but I’m pointing out how your logic is flawed. We should not be teaching kids that reality is whatever they think it is based on their experience. There is an objective reality and anyone who doesn’t understand it or believe it is walking in a cloud of ignorance and will eventually bang their head against the wall of reality.
Janine • Sep 27, 2023 at 8:51 pm
Thank you for sharing your experience. I admire your ability to say hard things (especially being young). I am rooting for you and for LF to do better.
Judy Gross • Sep 22, 2023 at 5:55 pm
Way to go Suhmer! Congratulations on a well written, thought provoking article! I always knew that you had a lot to say; keep up the great work!
Amy Lyons • Sep 22, 2023 at 3:50 pm
Suhmer,
I admire your bravery in sharing your experience that other students of color may relate to and everyone could benefit from considering thoughtfully because you speak to the human desire to be accepted. Your mention of how you are perceived by your former peers as opposed to those at school reminds me of Starr’s experience code switching in The Hate U Give novel. You should be proud of using yours voice boldly as she does.
Shannon Maguire • Sep 22, 2023 at 3:49 pm
I’m pretty sure I just read an article in The New Yorker Magazine… your words are like poetry. We are all the same color on the inside.
Former Editor In Chief of TFS • Sep 22, 2023 at 10:47 am
This is exceptionally beautiful. Thank you so much for being YOU and for sharing your story. Please know that there are people in this community who want change from the way things have been before and you are the catalyst to that change. ❤️
Alia • Sep 21, 2023 at 2:48 pm
Very powerful and beautifully written. I applaud you for writing this – putting your name out there and sharing your experiences is very brave.
Dan Maigler • Sep 21, 2023 at 2:22 pm
A very impressive article. So thankful for your courage in sharing these feelings. I know that you are not alone in these feelings. As a school we owe it to you and all of our students to do better.
staff • Sep 21, 2023 at 2:05 pm
Suhmer, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts and beautiful heart with all the students and staff here at LFHS.
student • Sep 20, 2023 at 8:22 pm
beautifully said. thank you for sharing and drawing attention to something that is so ignored in LFHS.