When we first make a friend or special love interest, we rarely anticipate a situation where that person will leave us with significant emotional and physical trauma.

The truth is, when trauma is caused by a person who was previously trusted, the repercussions are much harder to confront and come to terms with.

As if it weren’t hard enough, knowing a person who has committed a sexual crime against you is devastating.  In the final installment of this series, I will look into how platonic and romantic relationships impact whether or not victims speak up and how these connections may be harmful after a report is made.

Relationships vs. Reports

According to social worker Dan Maigler, “about 8 in 10 sexual crimes are committed by someone that’s well-known to a person.”

Accusing a friend or partner–romantic or platonic–of assault can be hard, and too often people will dismiss it.

“People judge if they know you are into someone,” said Maigler.

Some people who make accusations of sexual assault are accused of making bogus claims because they regret their decision.

However, nobody wants the label of “sexual assault victim.”

If they regretted “getting” with a person, they would just say that.  Very rarely is a person dramatic enough to cover regret with something so serious as sexual assault.

As questions are raised against accusers, skeptics should consider what this person gains from lying. It should raise valid concern if one day, two friends are very close, and the next, one is expressing that they were violated by the other.

Everyone knows that high school students love drama, but this goes far beyond regular teenage gossip.  No one wants to lose a close friend over a sexual assault accusation unless it is the truth.

If a person chooses to confide in you that they have been sexually assaulted–an all too common occurrence nowadays–or you watch a friendship/relationship fall apart due to sexual assault accusations, simply listen.

When confided in, our immediate instinct should not be to question, doubt, or rationalize the victim.  Instead, the best support comes from placing preconceptions aside and trusting victims in their most vulnerable moments.