Paranoia sees decline but Alam promises big finish


Lake Forest saw a decline in paranoia during week 3 as surviving teams entered the Elite Eight.

“It’s gotten very quiet,” self-proclaimed gamemaster Zeyad Alam admits. “I kind of feel like there’s a calm before the storm, because I kind of got big plans coming up.”

Still, there were a few teams for whom“calm” was not in their vocabulary.

“On Saturday we had a very eventful day,” senior Michael Park said. “We followed four active members of their team to Megan Grumhaus’ house. We sieged them, we stuck them in there.”

As is the case with many excessively bold teams, it was at the point of greatest confidence that the tables turned. “It kind of backfired,” Park said. “We ended up coming out two points to three that day. We tried to set up another raid that day, but it became chaos.”

This chaos persisted to the point where both sides reached a deadlock, one that was only resolved when both teams reset the score for the day. Many consider these common disputes as the weak point of Paranoia’s otherwise successful run: if two teams are on conflicting sides of an argument (which happens as frequently as you’d imagine), it can be extremely difficult to come to any reasonable agreement.

“It makes me sad that people are willing to set their morals aside just for a game,” Alam said.

Senior Anisha Parichuru and two of her teammates set off to Marianos to kill senior Dante Mancini. With three against one, Parichuru expected this to be an easy kill. Shockingly, this was not the case.

Only one of the three was armed as they walked inside.  Just when they thought the kill was imminent, they got nervous.

“The person who had a gun got scared and ran away,” Parichuru said, “so, I was unarmed and got shot.”

The death ended up losing the round for Anisha and her team, but Dante and his teammates are hopeful for the future and upcoming rounds.

Innocent senior Colin Thiergart was caught blindsided when shopping at Tiffany and Co. one afternoon. In attempt to get something special for his girlfriend on their anniversary, Thiergart left for the shopping trip unarmed.

If you’re a regular follower of the Paranoia updates, then you have learned by now to NEVER leave your house unarmed.  However, Thiergart faced a bigger issue than the Senior Paranoia game.

“I didn’t want to bring a (Nerf) gun because they have armed guards,” Thiergart explained.

Just when he thought his answer was valid, his girlfriend, Brooke Stride, immediately responded to his excuse for being shot.

“I do feel slightly responsible (key word slightly), although he did go in unarmed,” Stride confessed. “However, you should always stay strapped in this game.”

Senior Gavin Meyer  knows to stay strapped, but he has also learned a new lesson from this game: always be on the lookout.

Meyer was in his room at around 12:30 a.m. when an uninvited visitor arrived at his house. Not sure what to do, Meyer looked out his window to find Senior Tyjaun Scott sitting in his car for what seemed like the long haul.

“He wasn’t even on the enemy team. I guess he was trying to bait me out,” Meyer said.

Confused why someone who wasn’t on the enemy team was watching him, Meyer remained in his house the rest of the night where he knew he would be safe.

While Meyer was slightly shaken by this experience, his teammate, Senior Teddy Oline says they have a secret weapon.

“Our team does what it takes to get the W,” Oline bragged. “You shouldn’t be afraid of our team, you should be afraid of Bennet.”

Oline is referring, of course, to who Gamemaster Alam refers to as Paranoia’s “top frag,” who brought his personal total eliminations to 10, by far the highest among all players.

Because of this confidence, Oline says similar tactics were not enough to worry him. When Seniors Megan Grumhaus and Eleanor VanAntwerp arrived at his front door, he was lucky enough to have his mother answer.

“Two people showed up at my house Saturday, and my mom called me from downstairs,” Oline said. “She said two girls are here to see you about something for school. I told her to say I wasn’t home.”

This close call proved that Oline has confidence that his team can keep him safe, even at his most vulnerable times. “I called for backup and then they left,” Oline said gratefully.

With three more weeks left in the Paranoia madness, Alam is preparing for more exciting events coming our way.

“I don’t want to spoil much, get ready to unload a whole ton of fun on each other,” Alam said. “I’m hoping to host some special events. There might be some objectives to be played, like capture the flag….”

Stay Strapped.

Matchups (winners bold):

Lauren Tustison’s Team Vs. Clare Bradley’s Team

Aidan Block’s Team Vs. Anisha Parichuru’s Team

Ethan Kurian’s Team Vs. Jake Fisher’s Team

Katie Stovald’s Team Vs. Eleanor Colligan’s Team

Evan Divine’s Team Vs. Zeyad Alam’s Team

Alyvia Rohrs’ Team vs. Nolan Petzer’s Team

Andrew St. Amand’s Team Vs. Andrew Fluri’s Team

Michael Park’s Team Vs. Sarah Considines Team

If anyone has any stories they want to share in the upcoming weeks, bring them to Aidan Block or Tatum Litzsinger. They might end up in the next week’s recap!