Welcome to the world of conspiracy theories. Last week I wrote in The Forest Scout about the famous Mattress Firm conspiracy and was asked to continue telling the school about the internet’s crazy thoughts. So, each week I will be filming a podcast discussing one theory at a time. And for the ones that really give me goosebumps, I’ll be bringing special guests to help uncover the truth.
This week we will investigate the lesser known theory that is Walmart’s closing due to “plumbing problems.” I put that in quotes because in each closure case the Walmart announced their doors would be shut for over six months. To recall, Walmarts in Pico Rivera, California; Livingston and Midland, Texas; Brandon, Florida; and Tulsa, Oklahoma, all closed so suddenly that even employees were surprised.
The question I will be asking today is how is it that multiple stores in completely different areas of the U.S. with nothing in common all needed help with plumbing at the same exact time? There are multiple conspiracies that attempt to answer this question and others. One, for example, is that the stores closed in an attempt to get rid of employees who openly criticized Walmart; however, the only location that this correlates with is the one in Pico Rivera. I personally don’t believe this one; there isn’t enough evidence that supports it. There are several more conspiracies that are about as uninteresting as the one that suggests Walmart is getting rid of radical employees. Some weird ones include that the stores were all receiving radioactive packages from the Fukushima area of Japan, or that Walmart is avoiding lawsuits for not having the company standards kept up.
But possibly the most interesting and crazy conspiracy that pulled my attention was something completely different: and this is the theory that these Walmarts are secret bases for military personnel to campout/strategize. Okay okay, I know it sounds nuts. When I first heard about it my first reaction was to walk away. But hold on, stay with me for a few more minutes,and I promise you won’t regret it. Here’s a fact: there are hundreds of miles of underground tunnels beneath the U.S. soil. No one, except the government, knows what they are or have been used for. Even creepier, the five closed Walmarts all fall exactly on the tunnel lines which conspiracists have figured out due to a detailed map from a declassified Russian intelligence file. The conspiracy is that the military/government is using the perfect location of these Walmarts as a cover for their operations. One theory blowing up on the internet is that the Walmarts are being turned into FEMA bases. In case you don’t know FEMA is the U.S. Federal Emergency Management Agency, and it was implemented in order to deal with extreme natural disasters. Supposedly during an event, people could be transported underground and stationed at these new bases without having to ever come up for air. Photos, eye-witness accounts, and written statements from the contractors who worked on the tunnels underground all support and make their presence a fact, not a conspiracy. The government has definitely used these tunnels in the past; what’s stopping the military from doing it again?
With that in mind, the question is not whether Walmart could be housing military bases, the question becomes is it true? This conspiracy is crazy and farfetched, which is probably why it isn’t talked about as much as others. But if it wasn’t interesting I wouldn’t be writing about it. The believability is low, but the level of entertainment is quite high. Now that you know the context, you can listen to my opinion on it as well as this week’s guest Catherine Greub uncover the mystery with me.