How to (not) study for a test

Dont want to study? Learn from the best. 2

Jacob Koefelda

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.” – Robert Benchley

It’s Monday, there’s a test on Friday. The subject is challenging, but it kind of made sense in class. You were there, you made an effort, you showed up, did maybe half the unit’s homework so far and only used the answer key twice. If the teacher did their job well, you should be prepared for the test right? I mean, aren’t they being paid to make sure that you know this stuff?

In reality, nothing productive is going to occur until, at the earliest, Thursday night, and that’s even if studying is on the menu. After spending three years at the high school, the current senior class has partaken in its fair share of procrastination. The seniors are no strangers to 11:59 p.m. submissions and 4:00 a.m. bedtimes as they spend the day binge watching Stranger Things and reorganizing their socks according to the Newtonian color wheel. The following list are some of their hottest tips on how to (not) study for a test:

“Youtube. Actually that’s what I did last night instead of AP Econ. Sometimes I’ll go downstairs to eat. I’m not even hungry but I’m like,’ oh let me go get a glass of milk.’ I don’t need it, but it’s not homework.” – Dante Mancini

“Usually I’ll start with a movie. I’m talking a whole movie, some bonus features too. After that, I usually go to Starbucks.” – Aved Markarian

“When I procrastinate I go onto Apple Music and start listening to music. It doesn’t stop there either, I start reading the band’s descriptions, about the members, and it’s like walking into a vortex; it sucks me in and it totally passes the time.” – Meg Simutis

“I don’t even try to put it off; it just happens. I save absolutely everything for the last minute because there’s always going to be time for responsibilities later. Mainly the period before when it’s due.” – Zeyad Alam

“Well, I never really put off studying, but if I don’t want to do homework, I will legit wake up at 5:00 am, drink some coffee, and crank it out.” – Maddie Marshall

“I go on a cleaning spree. Yeah, I’ll clean my room, make my bed, take a shower. This is all going to happen before I do my homework when I am trying to put things off. After that I also go on my phone and get sucked into Instagram and Youtube to procrastinate even more.” – Justin McCartney

“I’d go on meaningless errands just so I can drive around instead of working. Or walk my dog. But yeah, cleaning my room is definitely a big one because I convince myself that I’ll work more efficiently if my room is organized.” – Claire Mahoney

“Sometimes I’ll check Schoology but then somehow I end up watching Netflix. Happens every time.”- Andrew St. Amand

“Two words: Netflix and Videogames.” – JD OKeane

“The way I see it, why would you work on something day by day when you can just cram the night before? Or the day of? Or honestly just the passing period before class?” Marcus Ulrich

“Sometimes I just fall asleep. I know I can’t lie  down or else I know I’ll want to sleep, so I have to go somewhere I know I can focus like Starbucks or the office in my house.” – Sammy O’Connell

“Dude, I’ll do absolutely anything to not do my homework. Think about it, why should I procrastinate later when I can just procrastinate now?” – Luke Mulligan

Regardless of the activity itself, almost anything is better than homework. Parents should in fact be thanking the school for all the homework because it’s the only reason that kids are cleaning their rooms. When else have you seen a 17 year old son or daughter offer to dust the living room? Students know that it’s not good to procrastinate but it’s going to happen anyway. Whether it’s because the newest episode of your Netflix series is available or because a three course dinner of Doritos, Cheetos, and Tostitos just sounds really good right now, the homework isn’t going to get done until at the earliest the day before.

Finally, to those reading this article instead of doing their homework: best of luck!