
Friday, April 4 is the National Day of (No) Silence. In the past, the Day of Silence was an event when thousands of students across the country would take a vow of silence to call attention to the silencing effect of anti-LGBTQ+ bullying and harassment in schools. But this year, groups nationwide have made the decision to switch to a Day of NO Silence, because now more than ever, with the current attempts across the country to silence LGBTQ+ people, people’s voices need to be heard. Being silent is no longer an option.
According to our own school data from focus groups and surveys, many LGBTQ+ students at LFHS do not feel safe or welcome at school. They report that they face name-calling and slurs, ridiculing comments, and intimidation. English teacher Mr. Wanninger wrote this personal reflection about the Day of Silence for The Forest Scout several years ago, and he has now offered an updated version for the Day of (No) Silence.
Outside my classroom door I have a poster with a quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” This quote inspires me, and I have always tried to convey to students that they should strive to be true to themselves and embrace their individuality. But living our truth is not always easy because, as Emerson says, the world seems to work against people who don’t conform to society’s norms. In all different ways, from the way students dress to the ways they socialize, many teenagers face the constant tension between trying to be individuals and trying to fit in.
If you have ever struggled to be true to yourself in the face of social pressure, then you know what it is like to feel silenced.
For LGBTQ+ students, this pressure can often seem overwhelming. For many of these students, silence becomes the best strategy for getting through life. When faced with potential negative reactions to coming out, many students feel the need to bury a part of their identity and live part of their lives in silence.
Even in today’s society–where acceptance of LGBTQ+ people seems to be fairly widespread among younger people, where same-sex-marriage has become the law of the land, and where celebrities and athletes coming out no longer seems like a big deal to most people–even in today’s society, students who identify as LGBTQ+ have to navigate a lot of obstacles. They are still seen as outside the norm, and society still tends to try to silence things that aren’t the norm. Many teenagers have families that view homosexuality as wrong or immoral; many teenagers attend churches that view homosexuality as a sin. Transgender and gender non-conforming teens face an even more hostile world because other people simply lack understanding and because of current attempts across the country to delegitimize non-binary identities. So while much of society, including students’ friends, might view being gay or trans or non-binary or asexual or bi or queer as no big deal, these kids still have to live in the world–a world where they may still be viewed as unnatural or immoral, a world where they may still be attacked or harassed for trying to be true to their authentic selves, a world that seems to be getting more and more hostile. And so these students choose silence over their truth. Silence over self.
Growing up gay in a small midwestern town can be difficult. I know because I grew up gay in a small midwestern town. I know what it feels like when a portion of society thinks that an essential part of your identity is wrong or unnatural. I know what it is like to hear people saying that being gay is a choice, when you know in your heart that this is just something you happen to be. And I know what it is like to struggle with trying to hide who you are, to feel forced to choose silence.
Back in high school, I really tried to embrace the idea of individuality and nonconformity. I retroactively describe my high school self as an “alterna-teen”: My friends and I wore unconventional clothes, had weird hairstyles, and listened to alternative music that no one else in the school had heard of. We worked hard to not belong to the mainstream and to not let the small and closed-minded town define us. But as much as I may have stood out as an individual, I was still silent about a part of who I was because I feared judgment. I knew what lots of people in my small town would have thought about me if they knew I was gay, and even though I knew rationally that being gay was just a natural part of who I was–like being left-handed or red-haired–I was not emotionally ready to accept this part of my identity because of the negative judgment from other people. So for all of my years before college, I felt that I couldn’t be my full, true self. I felt silenced. Then, after my first year in college, I realized that I could no longer suppress this truth about myself, so I came out to my friends and family, who, by the way, were and still are extremely supportive and loving, which makes me very lucky. Finally, it felt like my silence was broken.
My own silence when I was younger was obviously partly affected by the times; when I was in high school, attitudes were very different, and a lot of progress has been made since then, as I mentioned before. Many LGBTQ+ students at LFHS now fully and happily embrace who they are and find acceptance living proud and un-silenced. But not everyone, of course.
And now society’s acceptance seems to be regressing, where LGBTQ+ people of all ages feel now like they are under attack, and where bullying and harassment itself seems to be gaining more acceptance.
Many students, whoever they are, struggle with their identities every day. Many students suffer depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts because society has burdened them with feeling the need to hide or suppress their true selves. This imposed silence is toxic to the soul.
The Day of (No) Silence is about empathy. It is about knowing what it feels like, no matter your sexual orientation or gender identity, to have to hide part of yourself, and it is about connecting your story to those of others. The Day of (No) Silence calls attention to the fact that many students still feel like they cannot be themselves, and it shows students who are struggling that they are not alone.
On the Day of (No) Silence — and on every other day — everyone can choose to stand in solidarity and empathy with anyone who feels like they need to be silent themselves. This solidarity can create hope that one day we can all end the silence.
LH • Apr 4, 2025 at 4:28 pm
I love how silly some of these negative comments are. 1) thank you, Mr. Wanninger, for this wonderful article. 2) The fact that some people go out of their way to post hateful comments on a FOREST SCOUT article (a place most students barely read) is honestly both embarrassing and oddly impressive. The effort it takes to be that discriminatory is astounding. I get that people want to voice their opinions on the LGBTQIA+ community, as everybody is entitles to their beliefs. But this specific day isn’t about your opinion. It’s about raising awareness for the injustices this community CONTINUES to face, especially in today’s political climate. No one is asking you to wear rainbow, post on social media, or even engage. But if you’re getting pressed over tiny little stickers, maybe it’s time to talk to a professional about why that bothers you so much. The LGBTQIA+ community is just that—a community. And it deserves the same basic respect you’d give to any other group. At the end of the day, you’re responding to real human beings. Regardless of your personal biases, human decency should always come first. Again, feel free to say whatever you want, but none of these negative comments do anything productive. Y’all are really out here typing like, “This will get them!” or “This is going to make people finally think the right way–my way.” Like… what are you gaining from saying “it’s unnatural” or “this is unimportant”? This day matters to someone. It doesn’t have to matter to you. Just don’t participate. No one is forcing you to slap a sticker on or scream, “I support the gays!” But no one is asking for your negativity, either. What might feel like a “freedom of speech” moment to you can be deeply hurtful to others, and that says a lot about your empathy or lack of thereof. 4) Love that y’all are all named anonymous, didn’t know that was a popular name. XOXO
Chris Landvick • Apr 4, 2025 at 12:17 pm
Thank you John for having the courage to submit your profound reflection. While writing this I imagine you thought about the people who would dismiss and retaliate against your words. I am glad this was printed, I have listened to the students who have been bullied for being themselves. Our LGBTQ+ students need to know there are people at LFHS who support them. I stand with you, John.
Anonymous • Apr 2, 2025 at 11:05 pm
Amazing article!
gAnonymous • Apr 2, 2025 at 10:54 pm
The reason that many LGBTQ members are ridiculed for speaking up about their situation is because nobody does that in the first place. Heterosexual people do not walk around towns with t shirts saying “im gay and proud” and neither should you. Talking about your sexual preference is something you can do inside your own home when you aren’t bothering others. Since you are a grown adult, I would have thought you would have known this. I am also a little bit concerned on the fact that you wrote “students at LFHS do not feel safe or welcome at school”. If they do not feel safe due to a “threat” than that should be looked in to, but if they don’t feel safe because they are aware of how majority of the student body feels about the LGBTQ community than that is just childish. People are entitled to their opinions and it shouldn’t come as a shock due to the fact that the LGBTQ fad has skyrocketed in the 5 years, and before that it was never really something for kids to think about.
Anonymous • Apr 3, 2025 at 10:56 pm
Sorry, I’m a little confused about your comment. What do you mean people don’t speak up about their situations in which they are being discriminated against? Would you like to make a single google search about human rights movements? I think that your perspective on the topic would be changed considerably. Why would heterosexual people wear a shirt proclaiming that they’re gay and proud? That doesn’t exactly make sense. To your point about privacy with your sexuality, straight love has been celebrated for centuries while queer love (which has also existed for centuries) has been silenced and ignored. Straight people are more free to talk about their sexuality than queer people are, which leaves them with no need to do so. There have never been restrictions on heterosexual love. Historically, there have been for queer love. That’s why there are pride parades and Pride Month- it’s a way for people to celebrate their newfound freedom to express themselves. Continuing on, you call it childish that queer people do not feel safe at school- note that he also said “welcome.” It is not childish to feel unsafe in an environment in which you are actively looked down upon, and your comment is clear proof of that stigma against queer people at LFHS. Yes, people are entitled to their opinions. That’s why this article was written. I find it peculiar that you take issue with this opinion being expressed when you seem perfectly comfortable with expressing your disregard for queer people and their experiences. Why is it that your opinion is the only one that people should be entitled to sharing? Finally, you refer to the LGBTQ+ community as a fad. This is simply untrue- queer people have, again, existed for centuries. William Shakespeare, Sappho, Abraham Lincoln, Alan Turing, Alexander the Great- these are all historical queer figures. Yes, LGBTQ+ expression has skyrocketed- so did left-handedness when it stopped being a punishable trait. Would you call left-handedness a fad? That would be ridiculous, no? So is your point. Check yourself. We live in a world that is far too often devoid of empathy, and you are only a contributor to that.
Sigma • Apr 4, 2025 at 3:17 pm
Key word, bothering. I don’t think someone’s identity should bother others and it’s a reflection of you and your values if you truly believe this. ❤️
Anonymous • Apr 5, 2025 at 9:40 am
What about queer people expressing their identities bothers you? Just out of curiosity- if it is possible for me to broaden my perspective on this matter then I’d absolutely like to do that. ❤️
Shana Fried • Apr 2, 2025 at 9:46 pm
Mr. Wanninger, you are such an important advocate and voice for our students and teachers. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us of the importance of speaking up – especially right now.
Anonymous • Apr 1, 2025 at 1:39 pm
I find this article overly reliant on emotional appeals rather than substantive arguments. While I understand the importance of raising awareness, the claim that LGBTQ+ voices are being silenced more than ever feels exaggerated, especially given the significant progress in representation and rights over the years. Instead of declaring that society is regressing, I would have appreciated concrete examples or proposed solutions to the mentioned issues. Without that, this piece feels more like preaching than an invitation to meaningful dialogue.
LFHS Human Rights Defender • Apr 4, 2025 at 3:21 pm
You claim that this article relies on emotion, but that is frankly untrue. Mr. Wanninger had the courage to speak up about his experiences since many in the school are scared, shunned, and intimidated.
You also claim that it is an exaggeration to say: “voices are being silenced,” and that there is no concrete evidence to prove of that, but if you even tried to type in a simple search along the lines of: “LGBTQ+ violence,” you’d find thousands of articles and stories where people were being discriminated against and attacked just for their sexual orientation. If someone likes their same gender how is that bothering you? Mind your own business and don’t be an ignorant …
You mention that society isn’t regressing. Queer people existed in the past, but didn’t speak out because they feared to do so, but now after hundreds of years of history and silence, the LGBTQ+ community is regaining their voice. Society had made some amounts of progress to welcome the community, but it still isn’t enough to make a queer person feel safe while walking around school or in their city. To claim that the voices that are screaming to be heard after years of silence are dramatic is preposterous since you haven’t lived a day of the struggles in their lives.
Some people in this comment section also have the audacity to say that they’ve never heard banter against the LGBTQ+ community, but I want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself that at the end of the day when you and your friends have been saying the f slur and making gay jokes. When saying this, you are joining part in the active dehumanization and discrimination of human beings.
Anonymous • Apr 6, 2025 at 4:01 pm
I appreciate your passion and the seriousness of the issues you bring up. No one is denying that LGBTQ+ individuals have faced — and continue to face — discrimination and violence in many parts of the world. Those realities are heartbreaking and must be addressed. But my original critique wasn’t about whether discrimination exists — it was about how the article presents its argument.
Saying that the article relies on emotion isn’t an insult — it’s an observation of rhetorical style. Emotional appeals can be powerful and valid in storytelling, but when making claims about a specific institution or situation (like “voices are being silenced” in our own school), emotion needs to be balanced with factual support. Personal anecdotes like Mr. Wanninger’s are important and brave, but they don’t automatically translate to proof of widespread silencing unless there is a broader pattern of evidence.
You mention that a quick Google search will show violence against LGBTQ+ people — and that’s true on a global or national level. But citing global injustice doesn’t necessarily prove that our school specifically is actively silencing people. That’s where my call for evidence comes in. Are there examples of students being punished for speaking up? Are there policies in place that suppress expression? Those are the kinds of things that would strengthen the article’s claims.
As for the idea that society is regressing — I still respectfully disagree. Progress has never been linear, but we have seen significant legal, social, and cultural advancements for LGBTQ+ rights in just the past few decades. The fact that these conversations are happening at all — openly, in classrooms and online — is a sign of forward movement. That doesn’t mean the work is done, but recognizing progress doesn’t negate ongoing challenges.
Lastly, I don’t speak for everyone, but making assumptions that all people use slurs or dehumanizing jokes with their friends is unfair and unproductive. If we want real change, we should call out bad behavior when we see it — but we should also avoid painting people with a broad brush or shutting down honest disagreement by labeling it as ignorance.
You’ve raised important points, and I hear your frustration. I just hope we can continue having these discussions in a way that encourages reflection on both sides — because that’s how progress happens.
LFHS Human Rights Defender • Apr 16, 2025 at 9:37 pm
I hear your point about the lack of factual evidence so for the remainder of this comment I will give you some.
Fact: As a member of this school’s body I have seen and heard LGBTQ+ remarks, slurs, jokes, and dehumanization.
Fact: I have been mocked and made fun of personally for just reading LGBTQ+ literature.
Fact: We are regressing. In Utah and many states to come they passed legislation to ban pride flags.
Fact: Transgender athletes are being removed from their sports.
Fact: The military is discriminating against the Transgender community.
When you admit this is a global issue, you must realize that it is also happening in this school, right in front of you. While it might not be as bad as it is in Afghanistan, Turkey, Russia, or even the U.S. south, it is still experienced by every LGBTQ+ member of this school’s body. We should not be downplaying this, even to the slightest. Instead we should honor Mr. Wanninger for making this valiant effort to share his story and encourage others to speak up as well.
Jason Kowaslki • Apr 6, 2025 at 4:29 pm
[You also claim that it is an exaggeration to say: “voices are being silenced,” and that there is no concrete evidence to prove of that]
So far, nobody is making threats or using institutional authority to silence LGBTQ+ perspectives in this school. I could understand the argument that many students are too cowardly to overcome a chilling effect, but that’s self-silencing more than it is “being silenced”.
—-
[if you even tried to type in a simple search along the lines of: “LGBTQ+ violence,” you’d find thousands of articles and stories where people were being discriminated against and attacked just for their sexual orientation.]
When I search that, I mostly find people claiming that it’s a problem which still needs to be addressed, and many more focusing on the historic past. Although I can find news reports, published statistics, and similar current/recent sources, none of them indicate a problem in Lake Forest especially.
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[If someone likes their same gender how is that bothering you? Mind your own business and don’t be an ignorant …]
“Bothering” was never mentioned in the comment which you’re replying to. Also, your reduction of obnoxiousness and politicking to a mere difference in sexuality implies that you never wanted good-faith conversation.
—-
[but it still isn’t enough to make a queer person feel safe while walking around school or in their city.]
No amount of mainstream acceptance will make people safe. There will always be someone who wishes violent harm upon you, and their motive doesn’t matter. Being able to defend yourself is the only way to ensure your safety.
—-
[To claim that the voices that are screaming to be heard after years of silence are dramatic is preposterous since you haven’t lived a day of the struggles in their lives.]
It’s not preposterous at all. I have faced similar struggles, but that doesn’t make me blind to how “dramatic” clout-chasing and performative activism are.
—-
[I want you to look in the mirror and tell yourself that at the end of the day when you and your friends have been saying the f slur and making gay jokes.”]
During all of my days in high school, I have been called a MiG-15 (due to comment censorship) in one incident during my Junior year, and I haven’t heard that slur used against anyone else. All of the ‘gay jokes’ which I witnessed were people implying/acting as if they were gay (or bisexual at the very least), not anything actually about homosexuals.
LFHS Human Rights Defender • Apr 19, 2025 at 8:16 pm
[So far, nobody is making threats or using institutional authority to silence LGBTQ+ perspectives in this school. I could understand the argument that many students are too cowardly to overcome a chilling effect, but that’s self-silencing more than it is “being silenced”.]
This is he same argument that the Nazi Regime and the Ottomans used to dictate their actions saying that they weren’t forcing many people into situations, but anyone knows that while this might be true, this is a choiceless choice; One where you or choosing life or death. In this case (in our school), it is not so dire, but the fact still remains: people are being intimidated into silence and while it might have been their choice to do so, they are doing it for their own safety.
[Although I can find news reports, published statistics, and similar current/recent sources, none of them indicate a problem in Lake Forest especially.]
As Martin Luther King Jr. once said: “An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice EVERYWHERE.” This shows that when we close our mind off and think that “oh it hasn’t happened here. It can’t be that bad,” we are contributing the global issue. Martin Niemöller, famous for speaking out against the Holocaust, has his quote located at the end of the Holocaust Museum in Skokie: “First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me.” While it might not be happening in plain sight or in large amounts, it is still happening and should not be ignored.
[I haven’t heard that slur used against anyone else. All of the ‘gay jokes’ which I witnessed were people implying/acting as if they were gay (or bisexual at the very least), not anything actually about homosexuals.]
Just because YOU haven’t heard that slur being used doesn’t mean that it isn’t happening. Pretending to be someone or something that you’re not in a manner that is directed to harm someone is hate and homophobia in this situation. This is not helping the argument you are making about homophobia in LFHS not being serious problem.
Jason Kowalski • Apr 21, 2025 at 3:14 pm
[This is he same argument that the Nazi Regime and the Ottomans used to dictate their actions saying that they weren’t forcing many people into situations]
It isn’t. Those regimes used overt discrimination, state-sanctioned mob violence, and overt genocidal acts to further their goals. Comparing “being harassed by a few idiots” to Kristallnacht is disingenuous and grossly disrespectful.
[One where you or choosing life or death. In this case (in our school), it is not so dire, but the fact still remains]
The dose makes the poison, and the severity of the suppressing effect is the entire point. If the “threat” is just being called weird, that’s a nothingburger.
[people are being intimidated into silence and while it might have been their choice to do so, they are doing it for their own safety.]
In Lake Forest High School, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Nobody is threatening to put a pipe bomb in your mailbox.
[when we close our mind off and think that “oh it hasn’t happened here. It can’t be that bad,” we are contributing the global issue.]
The anon which you first replied to wasn’t talking about “the global issue” in the first place. We were talking about the situation in Lake Forest High School. To use a more extreme analogy, Genocide in Syria isn’t proof that Christians are oppressed in Wisconsin.
[Pretending to be someone or something that you’re not in a manner that is directed to harm someone is hate and homophobia in this situation.]
That’s only if it’s directed to harm people who do have that status. From what I can tell, it usually isn’t.
LFHS Senior • Apr 1, 2025 at 12:30 pm
Let me preface by saying I have absolutely nothing against LQBTQ people or supporters. I have many extended family members that identify as such. This day of silence / no silence is nonsense. The statement “many LGBTQ+ students at LFHS do not feel safe or welcome at school” is incredibly dramatic. I have never once seen somebody ridiculed for their identity. If they do not feel safe that may be a personal issue, there is no threat. This day is simply a cry for attention and will only be the laughing stock of LF for 24 hours. You do this every year, does it do anything? Just be gay/straight/bi/whatever and go about your day.
Anonymous • Apr 2, 2025 at 1:58 pm
This comment is honestly pretty ridiculous. Just because YOU haven’t seen or heard about discrimination, harassment, or bullying toward LGBTQ+ students doesn’t mean it’s not happening. It’s easy to assume everything’s fine if it doesn’t affect you. Also, the fact you are calling the Day of Silence a “cry for attention” and “dramatic” means you are clearly missing the point. Day of Silence is not about attention seeking, but about raising awareness and creating a space for those who feel like their voices are silenced by discrimination and harassment.
LFHS Senior • Apr 2, 2025 at 5:16 pm
What are we raising awareness for? That there is gay people at school and in the community? We know, and great that there is. Who cares? You don’t need a day of yapping for people to know that. As long as you want to play the victim role, you will be the victim. I can’t wait to see if there is a newfound spirit at school Friday (there won’t be). It will just be another day.
lfhs ally • Apr 3, 2025 at 3:45 pm
If you don’t care, that’s fine, but there’s no need to be dismissive! Acknowledging the LGBTQ+ community isn’t about ‘playing the victim’, it’s about visibility and support. You said earlier that you didn’t see any bullying or harassment, but I experienced it today from classmates at LFHS just for showing support by wearing a pride sticker. That’s exactly why days like this matter.
LFHS alum • Apr 2, 2025 at 11:04 pm
The fact that a teacher sharing their experiences as a queer person is something you consider to be ‘the laughing stock of LF’ shows that maybe you do have something against LGBTQ people. The truth is that queerphobia is extremely prevalent at LFHS whether you see it or not. Queer students can’t just be themselves and go about their day, because doing so will result in you getting harassed in some way. Just be kind and try listening to queer people when they talk about their experiences.
Another LFHS alum • Apr 3, 2025 at 2:33 pm
Agreed! Just be kind and respectful to others, it’s pretty simple. Do what you can to make a positive impact and make all students and staff feel more welcome and comfortable, or just go about your day.
LFHS was incredibly welcoming in the ’90’s to the first openly transgender teacher, can we please get back to that sense of community?
Mr. Wanninger, thank you for sharing your story.
Jason Kowalski • Apr 3, 2025 at 5:47 pm
“Queer students can’t just be themselves and go about their day, because doing so will result in you getting harassed in some way.” Assuming that you’re using “Queer” as a catch-all for “not meeting the straight norm”, that’s not exactly true.
My skirt-wearing has caused people to assume that I was a gay male, trans to female, or some other sort of LGBTQ±ness. Although they were wrong about those particular things, their conduct provided a decent barometer of how bigoted the school is.
In the past two years, I faced one severe form of bigoted harassment (I got called the ‘British cigarette’ slur and yelled at extensively, a teacher noticed and intervened only to face similar verbal fury) and two mild cases of sexual harassment (one of which I barely noticed). Other than those three incidents, I haven’t faced anything worse than mildly judgmental questions about my skirt-wearing – which is on par with me keeping an IFAK on my belt.
Yes, it’s bad that this school contains a few bigots and perverts who will gladly harm others in a pathetic attempt to fill some void in their lives. Life will always contain s%&*& people and bad events. The sooner you learn to endure it without letting it wear you down, the more you can focus on the good days.
shaking my head • Apr 4, 2025 at 10:19 am
Anytime someone begins with “let me preface by saying I have absolutely nothing against..” is often followed by bigotry. Your dismissive response is indicative of why such a day of non-silence exists. It’s always those who don’t experience harassment that don’t believe it exists. Why would you experience harassment if you belong to what is accepted as the social norm? And I highly doubt you’ve never overheard underhanded degrading comments or laughter at the expense of anyone whose identity is does not conform to a social norm. Try going “about your day” when your human rights are actively under attack or some peers do not treat you with dignity. Consider empathy as another option.