This year, I made a vow to myself that I would no longer share a single grade that I receive. I will not tell anyone if my grade is one that I am proud of. I will not tell anyone if my grade is worse than I had expected.
No matter what, I will not allow another person to know how I am doing in a class.
For me, the most dreaded moment in school is getting a test handed back in class. I sit at my desk, stressing as the teacher goes around the room, handing out the completed tests. Every single time, without fail, as soon as you get the test back, the person next to you asks, “What did you get?”
I always get nervous to share my grade: ‘Will they get upset if I get a better grade than them?’ ‘Will they judge me?’ or ‘What if I got a lower grade than them?’’
Every time this situation happens, there is no outcome that will leave both people happy. If I get a higher grade, they will get upset, and an awkward situation is created. If I get a lower grade then I will feel bad about myself.
So why do we do this to ourselves?
At LFHS, competition is so normalized, even encouraged.
PowerSchool only heightens competition, as it is natural for people to want to know their standing compared to others in their class. The app has made checking grades throughout the day easier than ever.
There was a period of time last year when I deleted the PowerSchool app on my phone. Then when people would ask me what grade was, I didn’t even have to think about it, I could just say ‘I don’t know.’
In reality, I was too scared to even know my grades on the off chance that someone would question me on it. That’s sad.
Especially because I know that there are people, just like me, who get anxious about others judging them for their academic performance.
The widespread need for validation amongst peers has created a vulnerable atmosphere in school. I am someone who has always been proud of the grades I have received, but even I feel that it is hard not to look at others and wonder if I am doing enough.
Therefore, sometimes I fall down a rabbit hole, and spend an egregious amount of time fixated on my grades.
Many students experience the same thing. We tend to lose sleep, think, and stress about our grades more than in years past.
I would say that students have even developed a gross obsession with their grades, as the pressure to perform well increases. This then creates a sense of insecurity or inadequacy when a student does not do as well as they had hoped.
All of these thoughts and worries are so negative, and in my opinion, so unnecessary. These outside influences only add a pessimistic perspective on something that is simply a personal matter.
The absurd sources of stress are not good for the wellbeing of any student.
According to M.Ed. Madga Murawska from The Albert Ellis Institute, comparison is a killer of self confidence.
“By comparing ourselves to others we’re negating our own road and demanding that the past be different than what it was,” Murawska said. “The demands we place on ourselves to be like those we’re comparing ourselves may sometimes be motivations for change, however they are more likely to lead to feelings of diminished self-worth.”
This is why I believe that not sharing my grades has significantly reduced the pressure I feel around academics.
Now the only thing that I have to care about is doing the best that I can. I never have to think about whether or not my grades will match whatever standards someone else has set for me.
I would recommend to all students at LFHS to stop talking about their grades. This has taken a huge stressor out of my life.
I understand that sometimes it may seem like a classmate is pressuring you to share your grades, but it is a choice to tell them or not. Nobody can force you to do anything.
When someone asks me what I got on a test I simply say, “I don’t talk about my grades.” Admittedly, it sounds kind of dumb when I say it. But I will risk sounding dumb over and over again in order to prioritize my well being.
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