In the corner of our school lies the most welcoming office in the building: Mr. Dan Maigler’s social worker office. Throughout his 16 years working here, he has had thousands of unique conversations with many different students.
Maigler started his career as a political lobbyist but quickly discovered it was not for him. Maigler called the The Center for Violence Interruption, who needed a school trainer.
“So I am young and I didn’t have a job, so I decided to apply for that and I actually got hired to work in Chicago Public Schools for kids who had been kicked out of their regular public schools and their alternative schools,” he said.
This experience proved to him that he enjoys working with kids. After a few more jobs, Maigler came into LFHS for the social worker position and has been working here ever since.
The Forest Scout spoke with Maigler in hopes of collecting his advice to offer to teenagers navigating a pivotal period in their lives.
The Greatest Gift: Connection
“The greatest gift that anyone can give you is their trust. It’s what brings me -and majority students- back to school everyday. I believe every kid should come into the building and feel like this place is their home and the key to that is to feel like there’s somebody there who cares about you.
“My job is to help build that connection, to make it feel like there is somebody to catch you and somebody to care about you and somebody to root for you,” said Maigler.
Putting Out the Fires
“In my own connections with people, it’s not so much my words that matter, it’s that I radiate to people that I care about them. While the best gift you students can offer is connection, the best gift I can often be is just simply to be with people in their pain and not have to fix it and not need to clean it up,” said Maigler.
“A lot of my job is putting out the fires. In order to survive as a social worker, you need to realize that you are never going to eliminate suffering. My job is not to fix it, it’s to be a helping hand along the ride,” said Maigler.
“Everyday I am going to fail, I can’t do it all, but I would rather fail doing this job than doing any other job in the world,” said Maigler.
“It’s hard to tell that it’s raining if you’re underwater already”
“When you have countless stressful things on your plate and these things just keep piling up, you can feel like you are drowning. “Give 100% of the energy and attention you care to the person or thing that’s in front of you at that moment. Then move onto the next thing one at a time,” said Maigler.
The astronaut effect
“Around this time especially, seniors look backwards because looking forwards feels a little bit daunting. For every senior, it’s like they’re an astronaut at the top of the rocket and it is about to blast off and explode underneath. (“At the top of the rocket, they are excited about college but afraid it is going to explode underneath them and they’re not sure what’s gonna happen,” said Maigler”).
The rise of mental health struggles
Teen mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, have increased since 2011. “It is absolutely true and the numbers seem to bear it out. The CDC and other organizations put out surveys and found there was an incredible spike even prior to covid of teens’ mental health crises,” said Maigler.
Where is this coming from? People have always wondered what the causes were, yet this crisis almost seems never ending.
Well, Maigler suspects it comes down to two main causes.
The Supermarket Choice
“We’re a victim of our own success. All parents want is to give their kids choices but when teens have choices, you fear that you could make the wrong choice. At the supermarket, there’s 15 bags of chips and it stresses you out, but at Trader Joes there’s only three bags of chips and it’s easier to pick that one thing,” said Maigler.
We are worried about unexpected results from making – in our eyes – successful decisions.
The Ambiguity of a Smartphone
“The unfortunate thing that happened was in 2008: the ambiguity of a smartphone and ever since we’ve seen the smartphone be more common, [catalyzing] this proliferation of social media,” said Maigler.
When most teachers were growing up, there was no accessibility to cell phones so there was a break from the constant comparison. Today, students never get a break from social media. It is exhausting for teens because it is the job of teenagers to connect with peers but the 24 hour cycle allows no break for themselves.
To students entering a new chapter
“What I say to most seniors is that between now and when they leave, if you can have six to ten great conversations that you will remember five years from now, that is the most important thing you can do. Go out and talk to that person that you haven’t talked to since third grade. Take a chance because you might just get a good conversation,” said Maigler.
Students have a hard time grasping actually how much time is left between now and whenever they leave.
“High school is the last time anybody’s going to teach you anything for free. Be in the now, stay in this moment, you’ve earned it. Second semester of senior year — it took you a lot to get here. Instead of saying I just can’t wait till this is over, say it’s enjoyable to be in school when I don’t have any pressure,” said Maigler.
The only difference between time spent and time wasted is the amount of energy and enthusiasm you put into what you’re doing.
There is only your definition of success
There is a feeling amongst so many people in their teens, twenties, 50s+ that they are behind other people. There is actually no behind.
“For so many people, they make the mistake of setting the goal: I want to climb that mountain. And not to realize that the goal should not be to climb that mountain, the goal should be to climb that mountain and get back down safely,” said Maiger. “The goal should be to get into the college and then craft the life that will make you happy at 46.”
“It’s like children are told to run a race but no one told you where the finish line is. This being said, we need to spend more time as a school helping people to conceptualize what is a happy version of me at 35, 45, 55 going to look like?” said Maigler.
“Instead of comparing yourself to someone else and feeling like you’re behind in a certain area, as long as you know you’re on track for the healthiest version of yourself, then we can take away a lot of that stress,” said Maigler. “There is no one right image of success but all right now what people feel is their failing to measure up.”
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Every person we come across in life gives you a new perspective. You get a glimpse of what it is like to be in so many other populations just from knowing people. “My office is decorated with artwork and things from so many students that have contributed here. I have quotes that share the wisdom that nobody is doing this all right and correctly. When we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect, we’re just going to end up exhausted,” said Maigler.
It is often ignored but we have access to so many things if we just took that chance; got rid of the worry that’s stopping us. “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” (a quote in Maigler’s office). “Over the years I have realized that words are not so much important as the feeling they bring me,” said Maigler.
Unfortunately, the biggest learning experience comes from our failures. “I have some of the students that have died by suicide pictures hanging up that I think about everyday. The Paws For Patrick tattoo on my right forearm I think about all the time,” said Maigler. In society today, we have to remember to ‘show up, shut up, and be available’… it ultimately builds the foundation of connection.
“Our pain is part of the story and there is no part of the story that’s wasted. Everything that we go through is there to shape us into the person that we are meant to be.
“So it’s not my job to clean it up, it’s my job sometimes to be along for the ride,” said Maigler.
