Graphic by Lamontae Bradin

Have you ever had a bad day and you just don’t know how to handle it? If this is you, listen up. 

I have had many bad days, but I just try not to show it. When I first came to LFHS, I thought this was going to be great and that I was going to have fun as a freshman, but it was not that easy. 

I moved to Lake Bluff in the middle of my 8th grade year from Mundelein. I struggled with controlling my feelings. I used to have different mood swings that took a toll on my mental health. Some days I would not even eat during my lunch; I would just walk in the hallways. Some days I would not say anything at all.

Then there were days when I felt happy and excited until something hit me in the middle of the day, putting me into a bad mood. For example, I was enjoying a good day freshman year because school was ending and I would be on summer break. Then in the middle of the day, I just fell apart. I don’t know why but I just distanced myself away from everybody; I didn’t want to lash out. 

I still faced this problem sophomore year as I would not eat in the lunchroom; so, I talked to LFHS social worker Dr. Lisa Huffman and she helped me envision the big picture by making me realize that new students will eventually find their people and that they will grow from their struggles. 

Working with Dr. Huffman helped me learn other things about my mood swings as well. When I was 7 years old, I was with my aunt sitting in the back of the car on the way to my dad’s house. A black Mustang rammed into the back of us, and my head hit the front of the seat hard. 

For some reason when my head hit the front of the seat, I did not feel a thing. I ended up being okay, but left the hospital feeling angry. Remembering that moment often puts me into an angry mood. After meeting with Dr. Huffman, I’ve worked on how to focus on being in the present moment and not to let the past weigh over me because this makes forming friendships harder, especially when you’re shy.

I was shy when I returned to in-person school for the last two weeks of my freshman year. It created some bad days for me. When you’re transferring to a new place, it’s challenging to be social and make new friends. 

For me the trigger to this was walking around the halls in between classes. I didn’t mind walking alone. I wasn’t lonely but as I went along I realized I had nobody to talk to during lunch. It started to become depressing and I started overthinking and asking myself if I had any friends. Then my first friend walked up to me and we started talking. She walked to my classes every day. All it takes is for one person to walk up to you.

I am learning that being shy is totally fine; it’s just part of who you are. You can embrace it. However, I’ve realized that shyness can hold you back, too. Don’t let it stop you from bonding with others.

Personally, I started with baby steps like little conversations with somebody or a group you feel comfortable with and try to keep the conversation going.  

It’s also important to try and step out of your comfort zone. Joining sports or clubs that excite you helps you find common ground with others. Celebrate every win even if it’s small. 

Take things at your own pace, don’t be so quick to rush into things. Focus on your self talk and being positive. Remind yourself of your strengths and unique qualities. Push yourself gently to be more confident and in time you will be out of your comfort zone and will be able to have more good days and happy times. 

I have also learned that daily exercise and meditation helps too. Try to focus on yourself first before worrying about anything else. Make sure that you are okay and if not take a few moments to center yourself. Then concentrate on other things that you have to do. 

Finally, listen to your favorite songs and talk to the friends you do have. Just one friend can make a huge difference. Try these things out, they worked for me, so they may work for you.