Student video violates a safe space and has LGBTQ+ students afraid
March 16, 2023
Because of the sensitivity of this issue, the Editorial Board has decided to honor the student writer’s request for their column to remain anonymous. If you would like to share your own column, please email [email protected]
LFHS is not a welcoming or safe place for its LGBTQ+ students. We have created a community that mocks, mistreats, or just ignores queer people. Despite the push for more understanding and celebration of diversity at our school, this problem is not getting any better. It’s getting worse.
I am a senior at LFHS and I’ve been going to the LGBT counseling group for all four years (even when we were meeting online). I identify as an asexual, transgender man and I have been out of the closet for almost 8 years. When I first came to LFHS, I felt very out of place with my peers. I wanted to meet more people like me, but my parents were afraid I would get bullied if I went to the Alliance club.
Then, I was invited by a friend to go to the queer therapy group (also known as ‘Q group’). For those who are unaware, Q group is one of six other groups where students can talk with their peers about their issues. There are groups for people with family issues, people with chronic health issues, and people who have a hard time making friends. Q group meetings are held on Fridays and run by one of the school social workers. It’s much more private than Alliance, and it allowed me to talk about my experiences as a young trans person with people who understood.
Q group quickly became a second home to me. A place where I didn’t have to put on an act just to seem ‘normal’. I made amazing friends and became more confident in my identity. I started dressing in a more unique style because I wasn’t as afraid to stand out. People may have been calling me slurs in the hallways and making weird remarks about my appearance or behavior, but it was okay. I always had a place where I would be loved and respected. That has changed for me.
Recently, a student discovered the room where we have our meetings and decided to take a video of my friend entering the room. It was only about a minute long, but it showed a bit of what the room looks like. Soon the video was shared to Twitter and Youtube, claiming that LFHS has a “secret” LGBT club that they aren’t telling parents about. The post got a decent account of attention, with people commenting saying this group shouldn’t be allowed and making homophobic jokes. It was eventually reported to the dean that a student had filmed another student and posted it online without their consent.
Loading ...The tweet was deleted, but not before I read every single reply. I was horrified. These people were making disgusting comments about me and my friends, most of them claiming that this group was a den for some kind of sexual activity. People replied with pictures of the school and the accounts of the principal and dean. One person even commented “A discreetly placed recording device might yield interesting results…”.
My happy place had been turned into a public spectacle and scandal. I have never been more afraid for my own safety.
This homophobia is nothing new. Almost every LGBT student I know has been harassed and abused for their queerness at some point by another student. For several years, the Human Rights Club has been forced to remove their display from store windows because it showed a pride flag. Last year a transphobic column was posted to The Forest Scout arguing that transgender women should not be allowed to participate in women’s sports. There is a reason that Alliance has had a low turnout for months. It’s because we’re scared. Scared of being harassed or outed by our peers or even teachers.
Q group was the one place where many queer students (including myself) were able to feel safe. It feels like that safety has been taken away. LFHS needs to create an environment where people aren’t afraid to be themselves, but it doesn’t seem like that will happen. Because no matter how many pride flags we hang up or clubs we make, there will still be hatred.
The only way that will change is if society changes how they view the LGBTQ community. With the way things are going, that won’t be happening any time soon.
The comment section for this column is closed. If you would like to write a column on this issue or any other, please email [email protected]
M L • Mar 16, 2023 at 9:31 pm
as a student who is in this years graduating class, i would like to state my first hand expirences to combat the misinformation in this comment section. I had to graduate early this year due to the absolute ridicule and abuse i was put through in my past four years at LFHS. I am a trans man, who had been out as LGBT since i was in 7th grade. i had to detransition due to physical violence at deer path middle school at the age of 13, and these same people who caused this issue in Q group were the same friend group who made my life a living hell simply for being different. i was not just bullied, but accounts were created to impersonate and make fun of me, i was openly called any slur they would think of, and everywhere i went had to be a calculated decision of how to be safe with my surroundings. i will not be coming back for the graduation ceremony because the idea of even being around these people is not worth it, the pain and trauma they caused me is not worth reliving even for just one day. i hope changes are made so other lgbtq+ students don’t expirence the same dehumanization i and many others i know have.
John doe • Mar 16, 2023 at 4:53 pm
This is dumb, your safety is not in jeopardy you are just trying to play the victim card, you need to relax big time. Nothing about this is harassing or bullying or any other type of homophobia or anything else you want to make up. As a former student I can say that this room is very much a mystery and not known by parents.
Mya Edwards • Mar 16, 2023 at 2:24 pm
Homophobia and racism is a huge issue at LFHS, as one of the few black kids there it is honestly so disgusting seeing and hearing how the kids treat the other kids because they don’t look like them or act like them.LFHS needs to actually be more proactive with this and fix it instead of smacking a hand aid on it and in hopes it fixes the problem. School is a place where kids should feel comfortable and safe from the outside world but instead no one is protecting them.
Advocate • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:36 pm
Many of the comments here are appalling and only serve to prove the author’s point. Just because it didn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. The purpose of taking and posting the video was to intimidate those in attendance.
Stop with this bs • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:06 pm
I have never once in my entire time at lfhs seen anyone be disrespectful to gay kids. This article is nothing but exacerbating an issue that doesn’t exist.
Do better.
Ang Karr • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:14 pm
really? You can’t be serious the amount of times I have heard the f slur and seen harassment against gay students is more times that I can count.
Wake up.
n/a • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:41 pm
open your eyes then???? maybe
someone who actually cares about peoplr • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:56 pm
The amount of things that have happened to people that I know is beyond disgusting, slurs being directed towards them and objects thrown at them. You can’t be ignorant just because it may not effect you. Everyone is so focused on the fact that its a room for LGBTQ+ people to have a place and are completely taking away from the point of it. Clearly this group is not gonna want to be announced to the whole school for this exact reason.
Open your eyes and maybe think about other people instead of being ignorant, the world doesn’t revolve around you.
Beyoncé • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:59 pm
The other comment does a brilliant job reiterating the fact that there are homophobic comments and slurs passed around during the school day, demonstrating that there are overt forms of homophobia. However, I would like you to consider times when the homophobia is not overt. I would like you to think about the times when there are eyes glaring at a visibly queer individual as they walk down the hallway or enter the classroom. I want you to think about times when its the first day of class and everyone is going around the room sharing a fun fact like their “favorite artist” yet the gay kid is too afraid to say they enjoy Beyonce or Ariana Grande without feeling the silent judgement of others and the talks that may ensue behind their back. I want you to think about the times when a gay kid is asked over and over again by individuals that claim to be accepting whether or not they are gay even though they are not at all ready to come out to anyone due to circumstances both at home and at school. Yes, I understand that there are high schools that are perhaps far worse in the United States when it comes to ensuring the safety, security, and well-being of queer students. Nevertheless, as someone who is now an LFHS graduate and away at college, I am stunned to hear about the freedoms that my current peers had to be themselves in high school without apprehension regarding the reactions of their peers. Queer kids at LFHS enter that school everyday reminded of their differences, and that is most notably because of the elitist and preppy culture that can be found within most friend groups at LFHS. Even when gay kids like myself depart from this strenuous bubble, we find ourselves in college or in the work force feeling behind compared to our queer peers that we will meet. We trail behind others once leaving since we lacked the agency to have access to experiences or knowledge. I will honestly say I am beyond grateful and blessed to have received an education at one of the best public high schools in Illinois, but even so, I should not have been yearning since freshman year of high school to escape. I hope queer kids in the future are able to love LFHS unlike me, but the only way they will love the school is if their peers wake up and realize that queer individuals are ultimately no different at all since at the end of the day, we are all simply human beings who all breathe the same air.
Jay Z • Dec 10, 2023 at 9:33 pm
stick to singing
N/A • Mar 16, 2023 at 2:27 pm
Maybe don’t take such a strong stance on something you clearly do not understand (or have even experienced) then?
Alumni • Mar 16, 2023 at 11:00 am
This is so blatantly a cry for attention. If you are meeting on campus do it through the proper channels. If you need a safe space then maybe you need to grow up. Every other person was bullied in highschool. The problem isn’t that you’re gay or what not is the fact kids bully people who are different. Lake forest is no different than highland park than Waukegan as far as how kids act. When I graduated people were bullied for anything. This generation needs to grow up and realize theyre not always the victims
n/a • Mar 16, 2023 at 12:39 pm
I’ve been to multiple high schools. the homophobia at this school is horrible. you’ve been to what one school? dont speak on something you have no education on.
harbor empathy • Mar 16, 2023 at 1:06 pm
Disregarding the experiences of individuals is formulated out of a lack of empathy. Lake Forest has a unique way of “normalizing” extremism and conditioning students to accept years of poor behavior. I think it would be a big step to listen and consider that even if ONLY students in Q group have faced poor treatment, that should be enough. As someone who grew up with the student who did this, I know this incident was done out of hate for LGBTQ+ students, but even if it was a different support group… no one should have the right to violate a safe and confidential space for students. This comment section makes me really sad, we need to do better, stand up for the people who need it most, and harbor empathy.
LFHS Alum • Mar 16, 2023 at 2:07 pm
You are certainly right when you say this is a cry for attention – MUCH needed attention. Q group is offered through the proper channels and is communicated to students. Q students fear attending school because of people with similar views to you. Whether or not you believe it, you have a deemed “safe space.” This could be your car, your room, your home, etc. For some students, the only safe space they have is Q group because they can talk about what they experience as LGBTQ+ people and receive support. As a cis-gendered and heterosexual woman who attended Lake Forest High School in recent years, everything this writer said is concerning to me. It doesn’t affect me directly, but it affects my friends. Q group isn’t a “club,” it is a support group needed to deal with the daily endeavors of being a part of a community that a lot of people are against. Lake Forest is different from other high schools in the area. Just because “every other person was bullied in high school,” doesn’t mean it is okay to do.
N/A • Mar 16, 2023 at 2:25 pm
I believe this is utterly ridiculous. The entire purpose of the safe space is to BE the proper channel. Are you argueing that we shouldn’t strive for a community that elimates bullying? Or rather that we should protect a student’s right to be cruel? Do you truly believe that? Or do you not wish to admit that you have a bias that you will never address, as you are clearly embittered by the bullying you expirienced as a child?
There is a better way, and what you’ve presented is not a valid reason not to address something that clearly IS an issue.
Current Student • Mar 16, 2023 at 2:33 pm
The issue of the video reaches far beyond just the LGBTQ community at LFHS. There are several different support groups for many various topics that go on in that room (family issues, eating disorders, minority groups, etc.). We should be grateful we live in a community that has the funding to provide support to students for this stuff. High school is a time where you can feel alone and the social workers privately invite kids to these groups. It is so important to know you aren’t alone in anything and you have support, this builds a stable foundation for adulthood. Also, this room shouldn’t be a problem to anyone who it isn’t impacting!!! Mind your business and let people live! The video was a complete invasion of privacy and it’s purpose was completely twisted. A boy barged in on a private group and starting yelling that it was a “gay cult.” It’s so sad that there had to be mass communication over concern of this room. This also isn’t a “cry” for attention – any student in a support group in this room is privately seeking support. Mental health matters, and when it blocks someone’s ability to focus at school or feel okay, they should be able to seek help without getting backlash. It is so disappointing seeing grown adults mad over kids getting support. I hope your kids are completely perfect, because if they’re not (and no one is), they sure as hell aren’t confiding in you!
LFHS Alum • Mar 16, 2023 at 10:46 am
thank you for sharing this ♥️ it’s SO important for the community to know about the horrible things that go on in lfhs regarding its homophobia and overall discrimination. stay strong xoxo