I have long-maintained that I only like the movie Titanic when the boat is floating. However, my opinion was given a bit of a blow a few weeks ago when I saw the movie again. 

Saige asked me (or rather forced me) to go with her to the movie theater to see it for the 25th anniversary in 3D. I was really not in the mood, but I would rather do that than do tech for talent show. Sorry. 

The entire drive I was trying to not think about the overly graphic, watery deaths that awaited me, accompanied by that god-awful script. The only thing that could save me from feeling my sanity slipping away was just staring at Leonardo DiCaprio’s beautiful face. This strategy works very well until he dies. After that, you’re on your own. 

As the movie progressed, I actually found myself becoming almost pleasantly surprised by how it really wasn’t that bad. 

I was reminded of stories my aunt told me about going to see it with her friends in 1997 when it originally came out. They ended up seeing it a whopping 5 times in the theater and it remains one of her favorite movies to this day. She was the first person I saw this movie with, so sitting in the dark theater, I found myself nostalgic for an experience that I never had, but was almost able to recreate. 

This does not mean that Titanic has redeemed itself in my heart! Do not be fooled! It was only really enjoyable when it was floating. I’m sure that the passengers would agree with me on that statement. 

I want to light the unfortunate script on fire. I understand that James Cameron is very talented and I’m very happy for him, but he needs to stop writing screenplays, like, right now. Rose says Jack’s name 80 times! These are not difficult not remember by any means. The messaging of the story is sweet, but the delivery of the lines on the way to that message is a bit rough. 

All of this slander is not to say that this is necessarily a bad movie. It’s just not my cup of tea. If Saige wants to spend 3 hours and 16 minutes of her free time willingly watching people suffer die in the unforgiving waters of the Atlantic Ocean, that is her business. I will not be one to judge. However, that is obscene. Like please, find yourself a different movie. She has seen it 27 times! That equates to 5,292 minutes of Titanic. I will not even begin to explain the better ways that you can spend 5,292 minutes. 

My advice for Titanic is to see it once, cry a little bit, and then move on with your life. It’s the kind of movie where if you haven’t seen it, people will look at you a little weirdly when they first find out that information. It’s a movie that is so ingrained in our culture that you must be living under a rock if you haven’t seen it. 

It’s still a huge piece of media that is talked about to this day. It seems like when I log onto BuzzFeed, I always find some sort of article arguing that Jack could have fit on the door or one detailing all of Rose’s best outfits. Do I click on them? Yes. Was I disappointed in myself? Also yes. 

On that note, please go watch it once and then walk away. Enough is enough.