The following is a recap of the most recent episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor.”  All opinions stated in this piece are that of the author’s.

Brickman on the Bach is back and better than ever. I have waited long enough for this season of the Bachelorette to air after that downer of a Bachelor season-ending last winter. Next up for a chance to find love on this gem of a reality tv show is… Michelle Young. 

Michelle was the runner-up on the last season of the Bachelor with Matt James. Tbh, that season ended with a downer. I mean no one even got engaged, so I guess I’m glad that Michele now has her chance to possibly meet her future fiance. 

A little run down on Michelle: 

She is a Minnesota girl, born and raised. She is a big basketball girl, having played her whole life, including her D1 basketball career at Bradley University. Now, she teaches fifth grade in Minnesota. 

The first episode of the Bachelorette is long, cringy, and usually is around two hours. It’s now a tradition that I watch the reality show with both my parents (yes, Joe Brickman is in fact a Bachelor/ette fan). Last night, they were literally yelling from downstairs that if I didn’t hurry up they would start without me. 

This season the hosts are returning temporary stand-ins, Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe – both ex-bachelorettes who have successfully claimed their engagement ring. I’m just gonna say it, I miss Chris Harrison as the host. My dad and I have both determined that Tayshia and Kaitlyn are kind of annoying.

For example, they went to like a handful of the men’s rooms. Why you might ask? Oh, just to casually look through their stuff. Like cmon, that’s so weird. 

I am going to contradict myself however, they actually found something super creepy in one room. There were folders of packets and literal reams of paper. All about how to get more screen time, how to be the favorite, how to fake acting interested in what Michelle is saying. Basically how to be the next Bachelor. And if you know the Bachelorette, you know that being “not authentic,” if you will, does not fly. 

The two greet Michelle who looks gorgeous in her sequin dress – a staple for opening night. She seems nervous, but not in a super obnoxious way to where she’s freaking out. They give her a little pep talk before the first limo arrives.

Now, considering that there are about 30 men that introduce themselves tonight, I am going to spare you from 30 different blurbs about each one. Instead I am just going to tackle a few personal highlights/favorites that stood out in my mind. 

The first limo arrives. 

Nayte – Well, considering that his pick-up line was, “It’s better Nayte than never” I was pretty skeptical, also I’m like 90% sure that he has a nose ring which is personally not my type. 

Romeo – His occupation is a mathematician… interesting. His pick-up line was, “My name is Romeo and I hope that you will be my Juliet.” Little creativity there Romeo.

Jack – Jack’s pick-up line was: “Jack Russel, like the dog. I am ready to play tug of war with your heart.” That one hurt a little to watch. He did not, in fact, get a rose later to continue on this “journey”.

Lt – So creepy. He is a yoga guru, who literally showed up in a speedo and spoke in a really unsettling monotone voice. He also did not get a rose at the end of the night – thank god. 

Chris S – One of my personal favorites. He showed up in a school bus wearing a schoolboy uniform. Great effort without being cringy. His line was, “I have never been so excited to go back to school.” Well done, Chris.

Rick – Rick appeared under a table and with his head on a platter. Very clever and funny, yet he decided to remain inside the table for the rest of the night. The camera kept checking up on him throughout the cocktail party – and yup every time he was just ahead on a plate. 

Joe – Right when Joe gets out of the limo, Michelle instantly realizes that he looks really familiar. He is suspiciously secretive about the matter. The two hit it off, both playing basketball and being from Minnesota. As he walked away, Michelle guessed his last name, realized that the two had texted each other in the past and it ended with Joe ghosting her. Bold move coming on to the show and thinking that it would not come up.

The budget difference between Michelle’s season compared to the last bachelorette’s, Katie’s season, is almost funny. I mean poor Katie was at the Hyatt Regency Resort in Santa Ana Pueblo, New Mexico, which, don’t get me wrong, was very nice but compared to the Renaissance Esmeralda Resort & Spa near Palm Springs, California, Michelle is definitely livin’ large for the next few months. Word on the street is that production did not like Katie very much, resulting in her low budget.  

Not much happens for the rest of night one. The main attraction of the first episode is the limo entrance.  Michelle gave the inaugural toast to the men as well as herself, officially commencing the so-called “journey.” I really loved how Michelle mainly talked about her parents and credited them with her high expectations in her love life. I thought that was a really grounded and humble moment that you don’t often see on reality television. 

Michelle immediately asks Joe to talk and confronts him about ghosting her and what his intentions are for coming onto this show. He claims that he was in a super difficult time in his life and was unfit for a relationship. For a second, I was on Joe’s side with this one, but that was until Michelle fired back with the point that she is super understanding and that he could’ve shown more respect by communicating with her. There are definitely times when you notice the inner teacher in her. 

Tayshia and Kaitlyn pull Michelle aside to tell her about the total creep who basically has a 12 step plan to achieve ultimate fame from being on the Bachelorette. He comes up with this sus story about having never even seen the Bachelorette and needing instructions? Yeah, that is straight BS. Then, he says that his friend’s wife wrote those as a joke. Then, it was himself writing them because he was nervous. Just a whole lot of weird. Michelle then asked to go and see them for herself. 

In his room, he shows her the folders. Let me know why there are literally reams of paper filled with the most extra and “pick-me” advice ever. Michelle instantly gets really weirded out and says that she is not okay with starting a relationship off with red flags, and sends him on his way back home. 

The first impression rose went to Nayte. Major upset. I truthfully didn’t really think he made that much of an impact on the episode, but I guess I was wrong. As the rose ceremony continues, there is one final rose left and Michelle calls a TO to collect her thoughts, trying to decide if Joe should stay or go. She ultimately decides to let him stay, giving him the final rose.