Though we most associated April with constant rain (or even snow), April Fool’s day pranks, and the final stretch of school, April is also the Month of the Military Child.

I’ve donned the title of a military child–or military brat as some people like to call us– for nearly all of my life, as my father has served in the United States Coast Guard Reserves since before I was born.

Most people expect me to have lived on seven different military bases and lived in four countries, but what a lot of people don’t know is that despite its stereotypes, there is no uniform experience for being in a military family. The most important part is understanding the role you have to play.

Ironically, for my family, that role means staying put. In an effort to keep my and my sister’s life as normal as possible, my parents never made us move anytime my dad had a new rotation or deployment. The caveat of it all being that whenever my dad is called up, we stay here while he goes off to do his job.

I can’t name all the places my dad has been stationed, because there’s a lot; some of them have been stateside like Key West and Cleveland, others of them on the other side of the world like Okinawa or Jakarta.

Sometimes his trips are only a few weeks, but other times, he’s gone for a few months. Half of the time, I never really know when he’s coming back.

In a lot of ways it has caused me to feel more introverted and isolated from my classmates, especially during a deployment, as it shines a spotlight on the little portions of my life that are different than those around me.

It’s made me ask myself little questions like: will he be home for my birthday, will he make my concert, will he make my sports games?

Quickly, little things like where I get my clothes and groceries from would feel unusual because my family shops at the commissary and the NEX (Navy Exchange). I felt more alienated from my classmates because it felt weird to tell them about my dad’s deployments when they couldn’t understand what that felt like. So most of the time, I didn’t.

But what I felt the most was the pressure to become more independent, to be self-sufficient enough to ease my family’s burden. I felt that, if I was able to take care of myself and be less of a worry to my mom, then I was doing what I was supposed to. That was the role I had to play.

Yet despite all the hardships that military families often have to sugarcoat, being in a military family has also had many positive impacts on my life.

It’s made me more responsible when it comes to both self-care and caring for those around me, and it’s taught me not to take the things my family has for granted. But it’s also more recently made me recognize that I shouldn’t take anything for granted: my friends, my family, and the little things that make me love them. 

I’ve gotten to meet some amazing people from all over the country because of my dad, and I’ve even met the Commandant of the Coast Guard!

That, and it also gives me some pretty awesome discounts at stores.

Through all the hardships and the triumphs of being in a military family, it has given me invaluable experiences and has taught me so much about myself. I am proud to call myself a military child and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.