The following is a recap of the most recent episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor”. All opinions stated in this piece are that of the author’s.

I apologize for not releasing a recap of the Women Tell All episode. To be honest, ABC truly did not deliver with this episode. The claws did not come out. I can’t remember any tears being shed. And tbh, they really just restated the obvious. 

As the most drama-filled season, I was shocked to see that the drama appeared to be non-existent during this tell all. 

They merely covered the basics: Victoria is mean; the only people that like her are the girls in the mean girl’s triad; Britney’s reputation has not been ruined by Anna, but she isn’t mad at her anymore and fully forgives her; Abigail deserved justice (duh); Serena had a hard time leaving Matt and kind of regretted it; Matt apologized for basically breaking up with all of them—and honestly, can’t really remember what else they talked about. 

The main theme of the Women Tell All episode? Forgettable. 

The one thing that was not forgettable, however, was the long-awaiting discussion of Matt’s tendency to kiss with his eyes open.. Truly iconic. 

Okay now that that’s over…. FANTASY SUITES WEEK. 

Wow. We have come so far. It is the week before the proposal. Fantasy suites are kind of the make or break in this business. It’s a test if the girls will crack under the pressure of “um wow my boyfriend is having a sleepover with another woman”.

Fantasy suites aren’t just about the overnight part of the date. They are also about having real life conversations. What’s life going to be like after the show? Where will we live? Kids? 

Chris Harrison pays the ladies a quick visit, drops that date card, and gets the heck outta there before the claws are revealed. 

The girls are practically using their x-ray vision to see through that card. It is opened… Michelle is up first. 

Cut to Matt, who is looking a little nervy about the whole vulnerability and opening up thing. Matt addresses that these demons are due to his parents’ relationships beyond their marriage, addressing how their divorce permanently altered his image of a “happy ending”. 

The doorbell rings. It’s Mr. James, father of handsome but nervy bachelor. Woah. 

Surprisingly, it was a rather pleasant greeting. Awww. 

The two talk it out and address what it means to truly open up and allow yourself to get hurt, concluding that a person can never understand the possibility of happiness without having that courage. The mood then shifts to Matt confronting his father about how his abandonment had hindered him all of his life. 

Wow. I am writing this as I am watching, and wow. The mood just took a left turn. Mr. James essentially blames Mrs. James for leaving him after he was unfaithful. Not cool, Mr. James. Good for Matt for wanting to have a relationship with his father and just getting all the cards on the table to address all of the main points. 

Matt breaks down in tears. I may shed a tear myself. He only wants a person he could rely on. And that was never given to him. 

The conversation ends with the closure as Mr. James finally apologizes for hurting Matt. As the sentimental music plays in the background, his father says that he wants his son to find a relationship that is healthy and committed. 

Matt is the better man and forgives his father, wanting to move forward with open arms. 

Anyway… back on track. 

Michelle and Matt meet up, and they are truly carbon copies of each other. 

They go on a relaxing and like woodsy-themed spa day. It was a day filled with oatmeal footbaths, butter facials, and a milk bath. Not my cup of tea. The butter is where I would’ve tapped out. 

The two clean up nicely and continue to a fire pit and just discussed the ability to stay in love. They just seem super comfortable around each other and in Michelle’s words “he just feels like home”. 

Matt really begins to open up to Michelle about his struggles with his parents’ relationship. Distrust, unfaithfulness, and disappointment. He makes the point that in spite of what he was shown as a child, he has come out the other side a better person. Michelle is very accepting of his vulnerability and appreciates the steps that Matt has taken to just assure himself and her of the love that he feels. 

They open the envelope from Chris and both accept the invitation to the fantasy suite. 

Michelle opens up and tells Matt she loves him… again. And Matt doesn’t say it back… again. However, she’s still super pumped, so go Michelle I guess?

This is the part of the episode where we see the first to break: Rachael. Our girl Rach is slowly starting to lose it. The idea of Matt with another woman is just too much and she’s starting to break. 

The two depart, both over the moon. 

When Michelle returns the awkwardness is unavoidable. Michelle describes her date and both Bri and Rachael fall apart. 

Bri is next up to bat. 

The two meet in the woods and it’s the classic running and jump hug. Their date of choice is a hike through the woods. They saddle up their hiking bags and start on the trails. 

Probably not the date Bri was hoping for, considering that Michelle got a spa day. Bri comments that she always ends up having her dates outside and she is the least outdoorsy person. Now she’ll be an expert.

The two camping newbies find a way to pitch the tent. They debrief about hometowns the previous week and how Matt is always just looking forward to seeing Bri. 

At dinner, the two deeply discuss where both of their heads are regarding the upcoming proposal. The two have similar father relationships, and so they both are able to be on the same page and relate to their shared pain. 

Bri opens up, saying that she truly loves Matt and would absolutely be ready for a proposal. Matt did not respond with a mutual “I love you,” but Bri nonetheless was overjoyed. 

Bri opens the envelope from Chris with the key to their suite and the two both accept the invitation. 

Following the theme of camping, Bri’s and Matt’s fantasy suite is forestry, woodsy themed. The two happily closed the door on their date night. One can only imagine how Rach is holding up. 

Back at the house, the tension is brutal. I mean, Rach is at her breaking point. Truly looks like she’s going to vomit. There’s tears, panic, anxiety. 

Rachael is the last to go on a date. The mood is just not the mood right now. When the two approach each other, Matt is so excited and Rachael is just not having it. She is almost pouting.

Their date is a cute, fun, and flirty ceramics lesson. Yet, Rachael is just self-sabotaging at this point. Frustrated and rudely, she complains about her freaking clay until she calls Matt outside. 

The two have a heart-to-heart, and Rach gets out all that has been bothering her throughout fantasy suite week. In the end, Matt reassures her of his intentions and that she has no reason to be freaking. After the deep convo, the two are as happy as ever and go back to cute couple pottery time. 

Am I shocked by this? Not in the least. Classic Bachelor move. Ya see it every season. 

At dinner, the two continue the conversation about what Matt saw as marriage at a young age from his father and how he addressed his father before the dates. He explains that he has worked to be nothing like his dad. Rachael is very comforting and praises him for coming so far. I did notice that, with this recurring conversation, Bri was the most understanding. She was able to truly relate to the situation since she too has worked to be nothing like her dad. 

We see the crazy side of Rachael tonight. She goes from 0 to 100 real quick. She tells Matt that literally if he proposed right now she would say yes. 

You can just tell that Matt likes her the most. She’s the only one that he has said “I love you” to and the way he talks about Rachael in his interviews is just different from the other two. 

The night ends with fireworks and the door closes on their perfect night.

The Rose Ceremony:

I am watching this live and truly have no clue what direction this is going in. I think Rachael is for sure to get a rose, and I think it’ll be between Bri and Michelle for who’s getting the boot. Regardless, I’m hoping it’s Bri and Michelle in the end lowkey. Sorry Rach. Her extreme jealousy serves as an unflattering red flag.

WOW. OH MY GOSH. Michelle gets a rose. Michelle is safe, ladies and gentlemen. This is big. 

Okay, one more rose. Who’s it going to be, Matt? Rachael or Bri?

Big sigh… Rachael gets the last rose. Did not see this one coming. Wow. Matt is definitely missing out on Bri. 

Both Matt and Bri are in tears. He sits her down to justify the breakup. He claims that there was no one thing that caused this decision. It was solely based on his feelings when he is with the other women. Aw, Bri is so sad. Poor girl quit her job to go all-in for Matt. 

Ya know what? Bri can do better than Matt. Bri is lovely and handled herself so maturely in this entire crazy process. Matt’s going to realize that he made a mistake sooner or later.