The following is a recap of the most recent episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor”. All opinions stated in this piece are that of the author’s.

Welcome back to week two of Brickman on the Bachelor, which is unfortunately already week six of the show. I will forever regret not thinking of this brilliant idea of a column sooner in the season. 

The only thing big this week was the drama—and our new special guest of course. 

The Opener

In the beginning, there is a clip of a sketchy minivan pulling up. A woman requests to see Chis Harrison, and when she gets out of the car, Chris pretends to be shocked. Nice one, Chris. It is Heather Martin from Colton Underwood’s season of The Bachelor. I personally do not bode well with change, but I could already sense crazy vibes from Heather—let’s just say I was intrigued. Like, how does she think she can join The Bachelor more than halfway through the season and come out unscathed? First of all, those girls will literally eat her alive. Second of all, how is Matt supposed to fall in love with this random girl like three weeks before hometowns? Sorry, Heather; it’s just not your time.

The producers didn’t spare any time before opening this week’s episode with a screaming match between Jessenia and MJ. I honestly don’t think anyone even remembered what ultimately got them into that position, but one thing was for sure: there were two girls, and only one rose on that table. 

Jessinia makes her point that MJ lied to bachelor Matt James last week about trying to be the “moral compass” in the house. Jessinia then makes it clear to Matt that she wasn’t telling the truth—rightfully so in my opinion, MJ is just as crazy as Anna was. She is the last of the bully triangle between Anna and Victoria; she has got to go. 

In the words of MJ, “I had a weak b*tch moment, but I’m back”

MJ thinks she can use her powers of persuasion to convince Matt that somehow she is in the right here, but quiet Jessinia comes out the winner of this battle. The best part is that during this whole catfight, Jessina knows that she had the upper hand. She even reenacts a classic Jim from The Office glance and stares right into the barrel of the camera smiling.

Big bummer (not): MJ gets escorted to the car with no real goodbye or remorse towards Matt. Interesting since she had just gone off on a tangent about how she would 100 percent respect Matt and his decisions. #tea. 

Well, bye-bye to MJ and her shockingly puffy hair. She’d be a good match with Luke P on Bachelor in Paradise #evilcouple.

Rose Ceremony:

All the girls are just anxiously awaiting the Rose Ceremony when they see Jessina strut in with her rose. At first, it’s a celebration of Jessinia and a fascination that MJ got the boot. 

That is until Chris Harrison walks in announcing that there will be no cocktail party and only a rose ceremony—apparently Matt was just so exhausted from the drama. The mood quickly changes. All eyes go to Jessinia, poor girl. I feel like Matt could’ve handled a little cocktail party, I mean seriously? The only thing he’s accomplished with this is creating more drama. 

Immediately, the girls start falling apart. Serena C—who I am so confused as to why she’s still here since she’s spent literally no time with Matt—starts accusing Katie of creating this entire mess (like how girl?).  Ryan starts having a complete meltdown, just tears everywhere. 

Even my dad chimed in, “Get it together man”—and you know it’s bad when Joe Brickman comments. And before you knew it, it was rose ceremony time. 

Nothing about the ceremony is too surprising; by this time in the season, you can kind of predict who will get a rose and who won’t. Two major upsets in this ceremony, however: Brittany does NOT get a rose, and Serena C DOES. Shocking to say the least. After all the drama Brittany caused—two people were told to leave for their behavior when Brittany showed up—she just leaves? Weird. Also, Serena C? I just don’t get it; that girl hasn’t done one thing to stand out or even show Matt that she is seriously interested. 

First One-on-One:

This week, Pieper gets the first One-on-One date. I actually like Pieper for the most part. At times, she can be a little much or just appear as kind of jealous, but I’m willing to look past it. Their date actually looked like so much fun. At first, they’re walking through this dark forest and it seemed lowkey really scary, but then Pieper flips a switch and an entire carnival lights up. I did notice, however, that Pieper is just kind of uptight or nervous on this date. I mean, I truthfully haven’t really seen her spend much time with Matt, but after six weeks you’d think it would be more comfortable.

Side note—the budget difference between Taysha’s and Matt’s season is just depressing.

The carnival is super super cute; they’re even able to win prizes since there are only two people in attendance. After the fun, the two of them go to dinner, but nothing too deep or sorrowful happens. Fun fact: during the dinner portion of the date the pair isn’t allowed to actually eat the food. I would not survive with this rule. 

Dinner is followed by a romantic concert with live music. The two slowly dance and are able to just enjoy the moment with each other. Matt ends up giving her the rose for the night, making her safe at the next ceremony. I’d give this date a 6/10 because it was a super cute activity, just not the biggest fan of Pieper and Matt together. 

Meanwhile at the House:

While Matt and Pieper are enjoying their fun carnival games, Serena C finds it necessary to start verbally attacking Katie back at the house. I honestly cannot tell you why this happened. Katie this whole time has only tried to stick up for people and make sure that the bullying came to an end. I guess I will admit that she could be seen as a tattletale, but still random of Serena to go off on her. 

Serena stomps up to Katie’s room and starts ranting about how she is annoying and calculated. Seriously, who knew that these two had beef? I didn’t, and I bet the rest of the audience didn’t either. Serena proceeds to bark at Katie, claiming that she is jealous and, in her words, “[a] freaking arsonist”.

Katie probably pulls the best move of the night. She responds with “thank you for your feedback,” and walks out of her own room. Literal queen vibes. Victoria who?

Throughout the night, there are clips of freaking Heather Martin in her hotel room vlogging her quarantine. Like, girl, hate to break it to you, but you had your time to shine and now just isn’t it. She assumes that she can waltz in 6 WEEKS late and get a proposal from Matt? #redflag.

Group Date:

The group date seems like a lot of fun. It’s a bowling day followed by some comfort food; I feel like it might have been better suited as a One-on-One date idea just because it seemed a little awkward trying to get talking time. Of course, Chris Harrison appears and turns the one moment with no drama into a competition. You could expect nothing less from Chris than to say the losing team will be walking home with no dinner portion with Matt. 

It’s almost like a light switches: a ruthless competition between The Pink Petals and the Blue Bombshells is now born.

The Pink Petals are victorious, and the Blue Bombshells are not happy. Rocky start for both teams, yet the match is surprisingly close by the end. Rough day out on the bowling alley. 

With every loss in the Bachelor comes tears, and that is truthful tonight. Abigail is the first to go; the tears started rolling and there is suddenly no stop to them. All the girls are just sitting around feeling sorry for themselves when Chris Harrison walks right in to say Matt felt bad and they were wanted to return to the dinner party. 

When the losing group walks into the dinner party, they’re greeted with looks that could kill. I don’t really understand why there would be beef between the two groups considering that they were all just together. I’d give this date a 6/10 because it would’ve been so fun without the unnecessary drama.

Second One-on-One:

This is the part in the episode where my heart truly stopped; Tyler Cameron appears!! Matt meets up with best friend and former Bachelorette contestant Tyler C to just catch up and play some pool. So cute and wholesome. Wish I could be a part of their little friend group.

The second One-on-One went to Katie. Serena C was not thrilled, to say the least. 

Their date is super cute and playful: the pair pranks Tyler while he’s getting a massage. I feel like these two would be great best friends—maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t feel any romantic chemistry. I personally would’ve loved this date just because it is super funny and seemed like a really good icebreaker. 

At their dinner, everything seemed to be going really well. The conversation seems cheerful and not too deep—they both seem to be enjoying themselves. This was until Matt pulls out the rose. I have no clue how, but my mom completely called this part: he picks up the rose and says, “If I am being honest”. For the Bachelor newbies reading this, that basically means that she’s done.  

Katie, unfortunately, does not get the rose from Matt and walks to her car. Out of all the girls to get sent home, I think Katie handled it the best. She accepted Matt’s decision, yet was still sad that her time with him was over. I’d give this date a 5/10. I loved the idea and the fact that Tyler Cameron was involved, yet for obvious reasons, this date had its downsides. 

Major oof for Katie, however, there’s word of her becoming the next Bachelorette!

The Ending:

I was honestly shook. Heather made her way in. How?

No joke, this girl pulls up in her minivan, struts into the hotel, does not even look at the girls, and proceeds to walk into the room to find Matt. She had a little trouble opening the revolving door which added a little comedy to the moment of panic. 

The other girls are literally going to tear Heather to shreds. Next week is going to be a bloodbath. Good luck Heather.