The following piece is a satire. All content and material cited in this satire is fiction and has been dramatized for authorial effect.
The element of surprise has been extracted entirely from the high school dance asking process due to the stealthy innovation of a Lake Forest High School junior. Lexy Webb, a junior student at the high school, has created a Winter Formal web forum dubbed AskEasy to help female (or male) students avoid embarrassment or risk rejection in the months leading up to this Saturday’s dance.
“Asking without knowing approval is social self-sabotage,” Webb stated. “In 2018 high school society, it’s best to have your date confirm that it’s ‘cool’ if you ask him or her, so they can then ask their parents, make sure it’s okay with their friend group, and make accommodations for both parties to be perfectly comfortable throughout the night.”
Though the school affirms that there is not a mandatory practice in place that even encourages students to bring dates, not to mention ask them formally, students unanimously agree that the Webb’s forum will help alleviate stress and anxiety that accompanies “ask season.”
“In the past, you would send a snap or maybe even a text to ask the person if it was [okay],” the junior who has attended the Winter Formal Dance since her freshman year at LFHS mentioned to The Forest Scout. “I can’t think of anyone who has not explicitly reached out to their date. That way of covertness went out with Vine.”
The forum allows students to see other users who do not have dates but are seeking dates, as to not imply that anyone needs a date to attend. From there, students can then opt to take their discussion “private” so they can ask permission to ask them to the dance, as well as brainstorm creative ways to ask in school that could potentially create a highly-likable photo for Instagram.
“It totally removes nerves, courage, face-to-face communication, and all that stuff that is so passe,” mentioned one thankful freshman student. “I hope this happens with Homecoming and Prom by the time I’m a senior. That way, I never have to spend an extended amount of time with someone whom I don’t already know intimately.”
It seems as creativity continues to grow at LFHS, the time-honored traditions of old are slowly phasing out. The Business Incubator class declined to comment regarding its ability to monetize and liquidate the forum’s increasing popularity.