The following piece is a satire. All content and material cited in this satire is fiction and has been dramatized for authorial effect.
The choral ensembles at Lake Forest Community High School are some of the most highly regarded programs in the school. With over 300 students enrolled, it is clear that the group is a popular and esteemed course of study. The students are divided into the three ensembles, Foresters, Balladiers, and Select Singers, based on an audition process. The group called Select Singers is a choir composed of mostly freshman performing at an intermediate level. Balladiers is the second highest group: an all women’s choir comprised of sophomores and upperclassmen. Balladiers is offered at the Honors as well as at the CP level. The highest level of choir in the school, a group called Foresters, is composed of over 100 sophomore through senior boys and upperclassmen girls is also offered at both the Honors and CP level.
This year’s annual winter concert was irreparably marred by a number of students who did not wear the proper concert attire, causing outrage and debate between parents and students alike. This performance, noted as the highlight of the holiday season, features Handel’s Messiah as well as the Chanukah song, “Shalom Haverim.” One of the students reprimanded for improper attire, who wore navy, lace-up high heeled shoes that did not conform to the rule of black footwear, was the impetus for the catastrophe. Another offender, who failed to appear in a button-down shirt and instead wore a turtleneck, was removed from the performance. During the Foresters’ performance, almost every individual in the audience noted this oddity and was unable to fully enjoy the concert.
One mother commented after the concert, “If my daughter can wear her black flats and tights, why can’t everyone else follow the dress code? I was most profoundly looking forward to seeing everyone wearing the exact same colored shoes, complementing their elegant robes!”
Behind the door was another mother who was waiting to be interviewed. Upon hearing this woman’s comment she jolted up from her seat, squawking “My daughter came right from soccer practice and could only find her dark brown shoes. . . I don’t think it is fair at all, I am focusing on the music not the appearance of the students”
Debate among the crowd erupted, resulting in students breaking into physical fights and mothers clawing at each other. Two parents were detained for physical harassments as well as six students sentenced to three weeks of in-school suspension.
This outrage rightfully resulted in every offending student (with improper attire) being docked a letter grade in the class. The choir, as a result, lost its standing as the best high school music program in all of the North Shore by failing to produce a perfect concert. Dr. Striktland, the director, plans to regain significance by conducting a close-to-perfect concert at the Vatican while on their triennial international trip, making up for the calamity that occured at Lake Forest High School’s Raymond Moore Auditorium. Will they remove these sub-par students from the choir? Or teach these rowdy risk-takers how to behave during class time before the trip? Only time will tell.